Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
