Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
