We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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