i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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