Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize