Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
