Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
