Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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