I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize