my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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