why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
