That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
