Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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