Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Ladies don't puke and tell
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
