why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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