i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
