woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
