I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
