Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize