i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
