CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
