My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
