You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize