His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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