I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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