It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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