Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What a dumb baby whore.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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