Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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