office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
