I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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