Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
whose parrot is this?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
