It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
did i just pee glitter
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
