he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
