Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
