the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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