When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
