My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
