Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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