i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Are we still banned from the library?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
