She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize