my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
