That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I party with great urgency now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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