yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
