Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
