They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
