love makes seman taste better
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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