I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
