I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I need moral support for this bender
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
