she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
