margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
