So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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