Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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