this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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