dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
