it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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