You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
