Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
