I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
