he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
